Go Back

Posted: July 6, 2014 in About Me, Random Thoughts
Tags: , ,

I’ve given myself a year…  A year to try and be different… To try and do things I don’t normally do… To feel than to think.

I didn’t gave it my 100%.  I still have reservations.  But that year is enough for me to know more about myself.  And be in touch with  a part of me that I have neglected for so long.

Now the year is almost up, I decided to go back.  There’s no need to continue.  There’s no need to embrace something I can’t handle.

Yes, I can’t handle emotions.  I can’t handle feeling something I’m not accustomed to.  Emotions drain me.  They are my weakness.  And that whole year is supposed to strengthen me… So I won’t falter every time I am to face something I’m used to.

And now that the year is up, I’ll be going back to who I was before I gave myself the break.  I will go back to being the thinker – one who doesn’t bother with emotions as long as everything I have is okay.  I’ll  go back to being uncaring.  To the hard, calculating me that was the product of everything I’ve been through.

I won’t let anyone near me again.  Everyone I’ve known up to this moment is enough.  If they are meant to stay  or not, it’s their option.  I won’t ask anyone to stay.

I know my worth now.  And I know I don’t deserve much.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s