Archive for the ‘On Friendship’ Category

It has come.  She has waited for this for years.  Always hoping, always doing things to be there, but never getting the actual chance to.

Today’s that day.  Today, she’s going to let go of everything – of everything she’s been through… Pain, physical abuse, emotional torment… and hurt.

She’s getting them off her chest, deciding she’ll feel lighter… more free.

She had burned them all – memoirs of everything she had… pictures on her wall, stories she’d written… and anything that symbolizes whatever she’d had before.  Papers, notebooks, photos, packets… and even boxes of mementos were all thrown in a drum and left blazing under the scorching heat of the sun.

She’s finally let go of the physical reminder of her past.  Of a life full of struggles, lies and deceit.  Now it’s the intangible remnants that she needs to let go…  Feelings that had accumulated well in time.  Emotions she had kept inside, bottled tight, kept in the darkest of her being.

One by one, she uttered the names of the people who’d hurt her.  Thoughts of how they hurt her flashed in her mind.  She felt weak, she felt lost.  But she continued with tormenting herself with remembering.

Sad girl in a corner by Purpledino1

It’s best to remember them now… It’s all part of her process of moving on.

She’s finally decided on the best way to end it.  Her choice may not be a popular one, but it gave her peace.  She’s finally getting what she needs… It wasn’t love nor acceptance.  It wasn’t friendship nor trust.

It was inner peace.  And now, she can finally feel it within her reach.

With sobs gone, and her feelings calm… She closed her eyes… And pulled the trigger she aimed at her heart.

Finally, she found her peace.

 

*** Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the image attached here. ***

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Never again will I open up myself to anyone.  I will wear my masks more.  I will build another layer of protection… Protection against people who has the potential to abuse me, hurt me… and make me feel like I’m never gonna be enough.  Nobody’s gonna reach inside.  I’ll keep everyone at bay.

This is the only way I know how to be sane.  It’s the only way I can protect myself — physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Never again will I give in to the idea of happiness.  It’s cliché anyway.  Never again will I let someone new see my vulnerable state.  Never again will I trust someone new.

 

**Disclaimer: I do not own copyrights on the above picture.**

I’m never good at goodbyes… nor am I good at saying farewell to friends, colleagues, and people I’ve met.  And because I’ve changed work in the last couple of years, I’ve met tons of new people – friends, frienemies, and people who I wished I never met at all… *he he*

Recently, I’ve resigned from my job at APAC.  March 28th was my last day, and my resignation was effective end of March.  Come Saturday, April 2nd, went back to APAC and saw friends and former team mates.

The morning started with the idea of going to Gerardo’s and have our drinks there.  But when we got there, the music was way too loud.  We won’t be able to talk and share stories there.  So we decided to transfer to Sangkalan, a nearby resto.  We originally planned to drink there at Sangkalan.  But again, we changed our minds and headed to Pork Barrel coz most of us really wanted to sing… *… and eversince the party at Nikki’s house, having VIDEOKE is a must!*

Before 9AM, we left Sangkalan and headed to Pork Barrel in Kalayaan… When we arrived, we were told that they will open at 10AM and couldn’t accomodate us inside as they’re currently cleaning the premises. *A bummer!*  So, while thinking what to do next, or where to go, we had some pictures taken.  See some of them below:

After almost 20mins of waiting and after a couple more attempts to talk and ask the staff from Pork Barrel if we can get in, the group decided to head on to Starbucks – a block, or a couple of blocks away from PB.  Going there, was an achievement for me.  It’s a long walk… and I’m not fond of them.  While en route, a few photos were also taken, and here’s one of them:

Journey to StarbucksAfter what seemed to be miles of walking for me, we finally reached Starbucks.  While there, me and Mai ordered iced coffee… and I ordered some pastries for the others.  Here’s how we were like inside the cafe:

After 30mins or so, we headed back to Pork Barrel… Finally, it’s now open.  We took VIP-C… and immediately selected songs.  First buckets were RHB and SMLight… then some pica-pica – cheese sticks, buffalo wings, and tokwa’t baboy…

Then, party started. *he he*

It was a blast!  We had fun… from the uber-high pitched song of Jun-jun… to our own version of Backstreet Boys and N’SYNC…. from the never-ending laughter, to the walang-sawang photo-op moments…

Click on the links below to see some of the vids taken during our session at Pork Barrel.  These links will take you to youtube where I posted them. 😀

Mid-shifters at Pork Barrel.

Our own version of Backstreet Boys.

Forgive the quality of the videos.  I just used my mobile phone to take them. *lol*

I’ll surely miss them.  Every moment I’ve spent with these people were pure fun.  I surely enjoyed going out with them.  Here, a few more photos before I left:

It was nice knowing all of you.  I may have left APAC but I do hope we could keep in touch. 😀

Au revoir!  ‘Til we meet again…

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Disclaimer:

I do not own the copyright to the pictures here.  All pictures were courtesy of Jhoie.  Gurl, thanks for allowing me to use your photos. 🙂