Archive for the ‘Poems’ Category

Inside

Posted: October 9, 2016 in About Me, Poems, Random Thoughts
Tags: ,

I tried to keep it from showing
Each day I fake a smile
Just to keep it within

I kept to myself and pushed people away
And hid in a bubble of uncertainty
Desperately pushing it deep within

But the darkness inside me is stronger
It’s clawing its way out
Demanding to be released

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An unfinished poem started back in February 2015… Been cleaning my files, and here’s something I have forgotten until today.

And here I am, more than a year after, but the darkness is still trying to come out. Been successful keeping it at bay – by focusing on the things I wanted to do… I’ve been successful so far. For how long, I don’t really know.

But I’ll try to keep on fighting this, because I am more than my DDS… I am more than what I think I am… And this darkness clawing its way out is just the part of me that I’ve buried with time.

A step closer to an imminent end.
A step closer to a finale penned.
A step away from claws of the past.
A step away from tears cried last.

Two years after three decades:
It’s still a step forward,
A couple of leaps backward.
Confidence wanes, certainty fades.

Two years after three decades:
It’s breaking out of a shell,
Retreating in a well-guarded cell.
A worse-case scenario of charades.

A step into a crypt of uncertainty.
A step into a closed infinity.
A step into an ephemeral bliss.
A step into a welcomed abyss.

Desolate

Posted: February 18, 2016 in About Me, Poems
Tags: , ,

Believe me, I tried.
I did all I could.
Different parts of me died.
And I am left in the cold.

Believe me, I tried.
I fought with all I’ve got.
No one’s at my side.
Winning is such a long shot.

Believe me, I tried.
I’ve bled and scarred.
Fate got my hands tied.
My outer shell, marred.

Now there’s just emptiness inside.
My dreams ruined and set aside.
With a grim heart, sadness intensified.
Melancholy, the only thing I exemplified.

I’m in between…
Torn between choices, unable to decide.
Same cons, different pros.
Yet, I’m still lost on which to choose.

I’m in between…
Standing at this crossroad,
Unsure which one to take.
Both looks the same.

I’m in between…
Should I be strong and keep this facade?
Or should I accept defeat and embrace the pain.
What should I pick?

I’m in between:
A part of me wants you to be here, with me…
Another wants to let things run its course…
And accept that this is the end.

Ranted Thoughts

Posted: May 30, 2014 in About Me, Poems
Tags: ,

… Nothing but an empty shell
A remnant of what once was
An escapee from hell
Filled with shadows from the past

… Nothing but a struggling being
Molding herself to whatever form
Picking up masks for the day’s taking
Surviving and not minding norms

… But an insignificant spot
Utilizing space, pretending I matter
Bound to lose, and prove herself
Despite wanting to be non-existent

gusto kong maglaho, mawala.
gusto kong tumakas
gusto kong iwan lahat.
gusto kong maglaho, mawala
gusto kong umiwas
gusto kong mag iba ng landas.
gusto kong maglaho, mawala
gusto kong bawiin lahat
gusto kong kalimutan ka.

Isa akong bato.
Walang emosyon, walang pakiramdam.
Kaya kong manakit,
Pero di pwedeng masaktan.

Isa akong bato.
Naghihintay ng malakas na hangin.
Yung kaya akong dalhin..
Kaya akong tibagin.

Isa akong bato.
Nag-aabang ng malakas na ulan.
Nais na magpatangay
Sa agos ng tubig.