Posts Tagged ‘Leaving’

Hello Stranger

Posted: February 27, 2011 in About Me
Tags: , , , , ,

Never thought I’d see you again.  After all these years, you haven’t changed.  You’re still the same old lost soul I’ve met years ago.

Were you surprised to see me?  Well, I am.  Never thought you’d be here… in this place where you last saw me.

Remember that day?  It was mid-September.  You said it’s time.  You said it’s for the better.  I believed you then.

A couple of months later, you’re gone.  I never asked you to explain back then.  I surely don’t want to hear it now.

You haven’t changed.  But I’m no longer that kid who believes in the power of promises.  Besides, it was you who taught me unicorns aren’t real.  Right?

Next Time

Posted: January 30, 2011 in About Me
Tags: , , , , ,

I thought it’s over.  I thought I’m okay without you.  I managed to limit myself from sending you messages for the last few months, and I succeeded..

So, why now?  Why now when I can finally control what I feel for you?

The minute I knew it was you, I felt the same things I felt for you before.  Everything came back.  I wanted to tell you that it’s still you.  But then you have to leave again.

It hurt.  Though you’ve promised we’ll talk longer next time, I declined.  I told you there will be no next time.  I’ve had enough of this pseudo-relationship.  I need to move on.

Then, you agreed.  Without even trying to fight my decision, you just agreed.  I never wanted you to.  I didn’t want it to be that way.  So while I was trying to think of ways to ask you to stay, you left… Like you always did.

I felt a sharp stab of pain.  I cried for you.  I waited for you to come back, to talk to me again.  But after more than a few hours, I knew…

It’s the beginning of a long-overdue moving on.

 

What happened to us, I don’t know.  It might not be what we wanted.  But I’d tell you this, I had fun.  And if I’d be at that same moment again, I’d still go with it.

Though short, and the ending isn’t what we wanted, the in-betweens were all worth it.

And so now, I bid you farewell…  The wounds will take time to heal.  But I’ll be okay, like you are now.  No, I won’t hold any grudges for the things you’ve said that day.  The moment’s over.

Update…

Posted: November 3, 2010 in About Me
Tags: , ,

Yeah, I’ve bailed out on my feelings for him… and instead, chose to hook up with the first girl I’ve met. It lasted for 2 weeks..

And right after, he comes back again… He no longer has that effect on me.

Coz whenever I choose to bail out and let go, I’m successful in killing whatever feeling that person made me feel.

When we talked again, it’s just another random chit-chat… A talk with a stranger.

My College

Posted: November 12, 2009 in About Me
Tags: , ,

It’s been more than 5 years since I graduated from college.  As far as I can remember, I last went there summer after graduation to get a copy of my transcript and enroll my sister.

These past 2 days, I’ve been to familiar roads.  I have to pass by my college to get to Manila.  I’m not fond of riding the MRT and LRT.  For me, they’re more tiring than riding a cab/fx taxi.

While on the road, I get to see a lot of changes that happened to St. Joseph and the neighboring establishments there.  McDonald’s and KFC, where I used to eat with my friends were still there.  But the Kenny Roger’s that was beside McDo was gone.  It was already replaced by a Mercury Drugstore…  Aside from that, the waiting area where my ex-bf’s and my friends used to wait for me was replaced with a cafe.

I haven’t been inside St. Joseph yet.  I dunno if only the outside and it’s immediate vicinity changed.  I’m actually planning a visit, just to see if there’s any change that happened inside – driveway, student’s lounge, courses, etc.

I’m excited to see how time brought many changes to my college, the way time had changed a lot about me and my former classmates…

Yes, nostalgia strikes again.  I’m missing my friends and the way we used to just stay at the lounge and gossip, or do what we are good at – food trip from St. Joseph, all the way to Welcome Rotonda or España… I also miss going to the movies with them.

My Karma

Posted: August 29, 2009 in About Me
Tags: ,

I chose to leave him. Reasons ruled over feelings.

Call my reasoning twisted. But the minute I learned the truth about him made me instantly think of my friends… and the other people that might benefit from me leaving him.

It was a hard decision. It took a lot of courage. And it was hard to fight back the emotions that’s building up inside. I had to restrain myself from reaching out to him and tell him what I really feel about him.

He’s my karma. The one I chose to love and leave behind… ‘coz reasons weighed heavier than feelings.

sa gitna ng dilim, ako’y nag-iisa
iniwanang puno ng lungkot at dusa
pilit na bumangon sa nadamang sakit
tanging iniisip, dahilan kung bakit

ang dating ligaya’y naging lungkot na rin
pangakong iniwa’y nakasakit lang din
ang huling hiling ko’y di mo na dininig
narito ako ngayon, puno ng ligalig

ang dating kasangga’y naglaho, nawala
ako’y di man lamang nabigyang babala
ang makasama ka’y isa nang pangarap
nalayo ka sa ‘kin, sa isang iglap

sa iyong paglisan, hindi ko nasabi
halaga mo sa ‘kin, pilit itinabi
kung alam mo lamang lihim na pagsinta
gagawin mo kaya, sa ki’y lumisan pa?