Posts Tagged ‘Me’

Ranted Thoughts

Posted: May 30, 2014 in About Me, Poems
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… Nothing but an empty shell
A remnant of what once was
An escapee from hell
Filled with shadows from the past

… Nothing but a struggling being
Molding herself to whatever form
Picking up masks for the day’s taking
Surviving and not minding norms

… But an insignificant spot
Utilizing space, pretending I matter
Bound to lose, and prove herself
Despite wanting to be non-existent

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I Changed

Posted: January 19, 2013 in About Me
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I used to fight.  I used to do whatever I can to get what I want.  I used to push through with what I want… what I need…

And then I found myself just conforming to the norms…  Taking whatever’s on my plate.  Though I hate it, and squirm at the mere thought of it.

I learned compromise.  I learned to be embrace the water in me.

And this time, the water is way too aggressive.  Putting off the fiery one in me.

Masks and Flaws

Posted: March 25, 2011 in About Me
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I have my flaws… I know all of them.  But I have learned to embraced each of them.  I have learned to accept them.  Coz I know, each flaw defines who I am… and what my beliefs are.

I wear a lot of masks… Each one designed to hide what I truly feel.  Each one custom-made, perfected to be the ultimate cover-up.  Each individually created to suit me whenever I needed one.

Coz though I act tough, non-caring, and happy all the time, the things I really feel just piles up inside… waiting to be released.  Waiting to be let out.

So don’t hate me when I’m being stubborn… or acting like a child.  For all you know, it might be just one of my masks taking over what I really feel…  Hiding the soft shell inside.

I am childish.  I know… and I’m not ashamed of it.  I may act like a child, talk like one, but I am far from being a child.  I just don’t want to lose the child in me.  Coz it helps me look for the goodness in everyone I meet and work with.

I am stubborn.  I won’t just obey and follow.  I would think first of the pros and cons before I do what I’m being told.  Being a front liner allowed me to experience things first-hand.  And I would need justification before I do whatever it is that you’d ask me to do.

I may be childish and stubborn.  I may have acted in ways one would never think of.  I may have even done things that I normally wouldn’t do.  But I am definitely the most real person one might know.

First, I am honest enough to break whatever bond we might have if I think/felt you’ve done me wrong…  I can’t bear to smile at people who’ve done me wrong.  I won’t act like I love being in your company when I hate every minute of it.  I’d rather be alone than be with someone I can’t bear.

I am not a back-stabber.  I’d rather keep my mouth shut if you’ve done me wrong.  I won’t go around telling people about you or something you’ve done.  I don’t need to do that.  If you really stink, people would notice it soon.

Lastly, I am not an A$S-KIS$ER.  I don’t have to do something just to please someone in a position to give me an advantage.  It was never my personality to be close to my bosses just to have an edge over something/someone.  I’m not a sucker for attention, nor am I a tattle-tale.

Yes, I am a child.  I’m stubborn.  I’m a brat.  But I’m not a scheming li’l b!tch who would hurt others just so I can have what I want.  I wouldn’t do harm to others for someone, say a boss, to notice me.

Yay!!!

Posted: March 7, 2011 in About Me
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I thought my account would be suspended…

Good thing it was fixed… In time for my HBD!!

I so love this day.  Hopefully, nothing would go wrong…