Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’

Teaching Experience

Posted: October 25, 2016 in About Me, At Work
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The first semester of SY 2016-2017 marked my first time to teach in a classroom setting.  It was different from training, or teaching kids/young adults different how-to’s or arts/crafts.  Since I know I am strict, and quite demanding, I had to change that… Coz I wanted my first time to teach to be a smooth-sailing experience, I decided to be nice.

Here’s just some things I’ve learned during the few months of teaching:

  1. Things will always deviate away from your plan.  I am someone ruled by plans, to-do’s, checklists, etc.  So I admit, I got a bit upset that despite giving school works in advance, some would still submit late… Or worse, not submit at all.
  2. Once in a while, it is okay to chase someone to give you what you asked.  Okay, so this may seem a bit like hugot but the thing is, I am not the type who will chase after someone just so he/she can submit his/her task. Hindi nga ako naghabol sa mga naging ka-on ko e, pero naranasan kong maghabol ng estudyante.  In a typical setting, if someone did not submit their task, then it’s their loss.  But in school setting, you have to give chances, follow up, and chase students to submit requirements.  You should also talk to them, to know possible difficulties, get the reason why they can’t submit or why it was late.
  3. You need to have tons of patience.  Anyone who knows me, knew that I am not a very patient person.  I value time too much.  I have schedules and plans that I need to adhere to.  Despite loving heavy and loud rock music, too much noise from incessant talking irks me.  True, there are a few times that I scolded the class, and even changed some things because of too much noise.  But most of the time, you just have to bear it.

Those are just some it.  There’s quite a lot of things I’ve learned, but it’s more of how different people behave, how I should act, and how I should treat others.  I won’t go into details about each of them because I am still sorting them… whether it’s something I should retain, revise, or reject.

Still, I am glad to have the opportunity to teach.  I’ve met a few good people – teachers and students alike.  I am thankful and glad that I’ve met them.  I am looking forward to more teaching opportunities… and probably start my journey towards the reason why I did this shift in the first place.

Inside

Posted: October 9, 2016 in About Me, Poems, Random Thoughts
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I tried to keep it from showing
Each day I fake a smile
Just to keep it within

I kept to myself and pushed people away
And hid in a bubble of uncertainty
Desperately pushing it deep within

But the darkness inside me is stronger
It’s clawing its way out
Demanding to be released

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An unfinished poem started back in February 2015… Been cleaning my files, and here’s something I have forgotten until today.

And here I am, more than a year after, but the darkness is still trying to come out. Been successful keeping it at bay – by focusing on the things I wanted to do… I’ve been successful so far. For how long, I don’t really know.

But I’ll try to keep on fighting this, because I am more than my DDS… I am more than what I think I am… And this darkness clawing its way out is just the part of me that I’ve buried with time.

 

  • Things may not go always as planned.  I should never stopped having back-ups.
  • Family is everything.  It doesn’t have to be just blood relatives.
  • My craft has been shelved – to give way to something not too important nor fulfilling.
  • Time is valuable – never take things for granted.
  • Overthinking helps in decision making.  But don’t overwork your brain.
  • Relationships come and go.  Never ask for anyone to stay.

And after all these days, after all these whirlwind of nauseous circumstances, I realized that it’s important to:

  • always keep my options open; and
  • never believe in anything, unless it’s in fine print.

Great Escape

Posted: May 20, 2016 in About Me, Random Thoughts
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It’s  been brewing for a few days now… A simple concoction of plans that will somehow, free the darkness gnawing inside me.

With a few tweaks here and there, my Great Escape is almost ready.  Just have to make sure that everything will go according to plan.  Not even a miniscule of mishap should happen.

The success of my Great Escape lies in perfect execution.

And yet…

A tiny voice inside asks to be patient.  That little spark of hope, of light, wants me to hold on.  It’s asking to drop my escape plans, to wait for that something to happen.

But…

I am too tired of being passive.  I need to be in action, be in control.  I need to be the one running my life how I want it.  With everyday becoming a struggle, my Great Escape is the only thing I am looking forward to.

Now…

Posted: March 24, 2016 in About Me, Random Thoughts
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Finally finished with the required 18 units to take before Masters Ed. and taking the Licensure Exam for Teachers.  It was 2 whole semesters of studying, of philosophies and strategies… of methodologies and evaluation.

I have learned a lot… from development of a child up to making your own school’s curriculum.  Subjects were serious, classmates were fun.  I enjoyed my entire 2 sems, even with some unwanted drama.

Now, I’m just waiting for my grades.  Although my grade in one subject during the first sem was not something I wanted, I am more open this 2nd sem.  Probably because the subjects for 2nd sem required a lot of focus.

Right now, I should feel accomplished.  Because I finished 18 units of Continuing Professional Education.  But, right now, I am feeling empty.

With nothing to focus on, nothing to pour my mind into thinking, I am lost.  I am about to look for work again so I have something to do while waiting for Review classes to start.  For now, I have to be content…

A step closer to an imminent end.
A step closer to a finale penned.
A step away from claws of the past.
A step away from tears cried last.

Two years after three decades:
It’s still a step forward,
A couple of leaps backward.
Confidence wanes, certainty fades.

Two years after three decades:
It’s breaking out of a shell,
Retreating in a well-guarded cell.
A worse-case scenario of charades.

A step into a crypt of uncertainty.
A step into a closed infinity.
A step into an ephemeral bliss.
A step into a welcomed abyss.

Somewhere…

Posted: November 25, 2015 in Random Thoughts
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I don’t know where I’m going at right now.  The plans I’ve made for this year are all changed.  The path I’m currently taking were too different from where I thought I ought to be.

Sometimes, I wished I could go back in time, to make changes… or to just stop, and see if I am going where I want to be.

But when faced with the chance to make that change I seem to be desperate for, I always choose to move forward.

Right now, I know I am somewhere I never imagined myself to be.  I don’t think I’m faking it.  I just wish that this current somewhere I’m in, will eventually lead to a fixed point – a permanent path where I’ll never go astray.